When is a Superhero Not a Superhero?

Justice League of America #12: Brad's Meltzer's fantastic run on the JLA concludes with a shocking cliffhanger! “Monitor Duty" is an amazing day in the lives of the world's greatest heroes, as only the League’s artist Ed Benes could envision!

This solicitation neatly sums up what's wrong with Brad Meltzer's Justice League of America, careless typo included.

First, "concludes... with a cliffhanger"? Does someone need to teach Brad (or whoever's writing DC solicitations) what "concludes" means?

Second, and more to the point, the big concluding issue is a Day in the Life story?

It's not that I have a problem with Day in the Life issues, they can be great. The first issue of Astro City is a Day in the Life of the Samaritan. Joe Kelly's first issue on JLA was a fun Day in the Life story. It's a good way to show what superheroes are like when they're not on a life and death mission, when they're just hanging out or dealing with more mundane problems. Day in the Life issues can display hidden depths to characters and humanize superhumans. They are great sources of exposition and as such belong at the beginning of the run!

But Meltzer's entire run has been day in the life stories. What superheroes are like when they aren't acting like superheroes. And it just doesn't work.

It doesn't work because most of the characters in the Justice League already have their own book (or two) to get character work done (and the ones that don't don't belong in the League).

It doesn't work because dwelling on the character stuff needlessly decompresses the story, spreading a two issue plot over six issues, losing narrative drive and reader interest at the same time.

And it doesn't work because the low stakes interpersonal drama ("uh oh, Power Girl wants to kiss Hawkman") looks pretty petty in comparison to the high-stakes superhero drama ("A giant moth is eating Earths' history!").*

I should say I actually enjoy Meltzer's take on superheroes, that the battles are vicious but extremely fast, leaving a lot of time to stand around, talking about books or playing capture the flag, in the right books. I liked his run on Green Arrow, about a man putting his life back together, and even appreciated how Identity Crisis focused on the emotional cost of a single murder; in stark contrast to way casualties in the thousands are usually forgotten by the end of most crossovers. So I might check out whatever he does next.

But Justice League is just not the book for him. It's the crossover action book of the DC Universe about heroes coming together to save lives, and if they are NOT actively engaged in saving lives most of the time, then I don't want to read about it.

I am eager to hear who the new writer for the Justice League will be, what his or (please please please please please) her plans for the team are, and how quickly they'll drop Geo-Force, Vixen, and Red Arrow from the team.


*I have a similar complaint with "24", where people keep wanting to interrupt Jack's search for today's nuclear weapon to talk about their feelings.

I'm a Sucker

No, I didn't pick up the World War III "mini-series" (but if anyone who read them tells me they're any good, I still might).

No, I'm an idiot for buying Justice League of America #8. I had dropped the series with issue 6, when I figured that a Brad Meltzer Justice League just wasn't for me, but then they go and have a crossover with Justice Society of America, which I am enjoying, so I thought, what could be the harm?

Oy.

This comic pissed me off in so many ways that it's hard to know where to start. As always, the most frustrating thing about Meltzer's writing is that it is has so many good ideas running through it that my hopes get raised, only to be dashed against the rocks of piss poor writing. For example, this issue has a fist fight between BATMAN and KARATE KID! (EDIT: better link here.) Unfortunately, it happens ALMOST ENTIRELY OFF-PANEL so that Meltzer can devote nearly seven full pages to Arsenal being unable to play capture the flag without breaking his neck!

(Update: the fight is actually seen in Countdown #50, which published one month later)

Other things that pissed me off include (but are not limited to):

The cover.

Michael Holt, Mr. Terrific, is, in fact, smart enough to beat BOTH Black Canary and Green Lantern at chess blindfolded without resorting to a trick I learned when I was seven. That's the kind of stunt Robin should be pulling. When the World's Third Smartest Man does it, he just looks like a chump.

That two page spread of the two teams "just hanging" by Shane Davis is just awful. First off, if this is such an emergency that they called in the full roster of both teams in under twenty minutes, maybe they shouldn't be standing around swapping stories and drinking, god help me, espresso out of dainty cups. Then there's the blocking. Though the dialogue suggests they're just milling, they are all facing front and turning awkwardly to talk to each other. If this had just been broken up into four panels on each page, it could have looked so much better.

And then there's the mis-characterization on that page. I know Meltzer has a reputation for "knowing" these characters, but he doesn't seem to here. Why is Stargirl gushing over Wonder Women? They've met before. Heck, they've eaten Thanksgiving dinner together. Twice! Why's Black Canary shutting down her old boyfriend Dr. Mid-Nite? He's giving her a compliment, not hitting on her. Why does Power Girl know Batman's real name? And for the love of God, why is Hawkgirl self-conscious about being at a JSA/JLA team-up? This ain't her first rodeo!

But all of that pales, PALES, in comparison to that last page. (Once again, I lament the lack of a scanner and ask for the aid of someone else in the blogging community. Thanks, uh, Wizard!)


Honestly, it's like a When Fangirls Attack nightmare. Ostensibly, it's supposed to show off the two new chairpersons of the JLA and the JSA, with the kicky awesomeness that both are former Birds of Prey! Yeah, you've come a long way, babies!

But let's face it, that's not the way it plays, is it? First, there's the sub-Greg Land photo referenced faces, which don't match the bodies they're attached to. They're not porn faces, exactly, but Power Girl's come-hither glance and lush, slightly parted lips don't scream leadership either. Black Canary's okay... but she's literally pushed into the background by Power Girl's swinging hips and bulging chest. Are these the leaders of the greatest heroes on Earth, or a couple of party girls?

And then there's the head shots. I know the roll call's traditional, but the five squares with question marks in them makes it look less like a comics page and more like a JLA/JSA fighting game with unlockable Legion of Superhero characters...

... nevermind, I would totally buy that game...

No, what pissed me off was the JSA roll call. Obsidian isn't on it! It's bad enough he was reduced to "wallpaper duty" in the first four issues of Justice Society, now he isn't even on the team? That sucks! Where the hell is he? Where's Todd Rice?

... oh, he's over here in Manhunter. Oh good. Now there's a title that's worth the price!

Hey Brad and Garth!

Take notes:

NRAMA: The first arc - "The Next Age" - how many issues?

GJ: Four issues.

NRAMA: And the team is set by the end of the arc?

GJ: Oh, the team is set by the end of the first issue. We're not going to be screwing around.

Tomorrow's Comics: TODAY!

In which I put on the turban and do my impression of Carnak.

But first, let's check in with my last prediction, that the mastermind behind the theft of the Red Tornado's android body is The Top. Well, we got another clue this week when the shadowy figure says he was stupid, but isn't any longer. That REALLY limits the possibilities, down to basically Dr. Light (who was mind-wiped and regained his memory in Meltzer's own Identity Crisis) and, well, the Top (who was brainwashed and regained his memory in Geoff Johns's run on The Flash). So my bet's looking pretty good.

As for the new prediction: Little Barda is Knockout's daughter.

Okay, there's been very little information given about the Big Barda-wannabe. Early speculation was that she was Avia Free, Scott and Barda Free's daughter in the Elseworlds Kingdom Come. This despite ANY evidence that Scott and Barda had a daughter (a teen daughter at that) and just failed to mention it. What we do know about Lil' Miss Thang is that she aspires to be Big Barda some day and has costume modeled on hers. A chance line from Power Boy indicates they are both actually from Apokolips, and not just humans with high aspirations.

Meanwhile, over in Secret Six, Knockout casually reveals that she had a daughter, but hasn't seen her since the girl was three (i.e. just old enough to have memories of her mother). And anyone who read Karl Kesel's run on Superboy knows that Knockout is herself a refuge from Apokolips who fled the Female Furies after being inspired by Big Barda's own escape.

Like mother, like daughter, eh?

Random Thoughts re:Justice League

Of the new line up, one is married, five are fathers. One mother.

Where did Clark get a Legion flight ring from? Oh, I know he probably got it from Conner (Kon-El) Kent, who was an honorary member of the Zero Hour Legion of Superheroes, or, failing that, from Supergirl, who's a "current" member. Heck, he might have even pulled it off Booster Gold's crispy fried finger. But I like to think the Legion of Superheroes gave him that ring when he himself was a member of the Legion as a teen. Infinite Crisis almost came out and stated that the adventures of Superman when he was boy are back in continuity, and this could be our first sign.

But the big mystery is who is the shadowy figure behind Felix Faust and Dr. Impossible who is going to such great lengths to keep the Red Tornado out of his robot body? If he was just looking for future tech, Dr. Impossible should have grabbed the Metal Men he disabled as well, so I'm thinking it's someone who actually wants to inhabit the Red Tornado's robot body. And since Brad Meltzer has said that Dr. Impossible is the only new villain, it's probably someone we know.

So who is it? Well, let's narrow it down to the dead, or recently dead. Someone maybe with experience body hopping. Someone smart. Heck, it's Meltzer writing, and it'd be stupid at this point NOT to tie it to Identity Crisis, so maybe someone who had been mind-wiped by Zatanna as well. Someone who specifically wants the Tornado body because it's fast, strong, self-repairing...

spins...

Justice League of America #1

I really enjoyed Justice League of America #1. Screw you guys, I don't care what you say, I like me Emo Red Tornado.

'Course, I also liked Identity Crisis.

I liked it for the same reasons I liked this issue;

great art (unless you're looking to be offended, this is some of Benes's best work yet) ,

good dialogue,

a nice grasp of characters and their relationships,

a good mounting sense of dread,

and more good ideas in throwaway lines than some writers have in an entire run (A.I. grapevine and "Hush Tube").

That said, if it turns out Traya is behind the whole thing,

I WILL GRAB A GODDAMN BLACK DIAMOND AND SWEAR BLOODY VENGEANCE ON THEM ALL!