Monday, March 20, 2006


So, it seems, I need a mascot for my blog. My hero, my sure-sell.

Dorian has Wildcat.

Scipio has Vibe.

Chris has OMAC.

I'm being a greedy bastard, and I'm taking Superman.

I guess I should be more specific. I'm taking this Superman. Golden Age Superman. Doesn't fly, doesn't have super vision, or super pets, or anything, Superman. This guy is all man.

And he wasn't afraid to get his hands dirty. I mean, just look at him! He sees evil and he goes right after it. He's so tough, he's scares the Iron Cross of Der Furhur!

Cause that was what this Superman did. This Superman fought for The People. He took on government corruption, unsafe mine conditions, war profiteers who reap a fortune off a senseless war. You know, things we couldn't possibly relate to in 2006.

And he did so as both Superman and Clark Kent. Because he knew that some jobs were jobs for the news media, and then his greatest power was the ability to write The Truth™.

And some jobs were jobs for Superman, and then it was time for the fists of steel!

What he didn't do, right away, was fight aliens and mad scientists, and he certainly did not come up with elaborate plots to protect his secret identity. Hell, he'd tell anyone who would listen that he was a reporter, if it would help his story. And he never, ever, ever, beat someone just because he represented goodness. It was either the typewriter or the fists. One or the other.

And I should also add that I do NOT mean this guy:

Earth-2 Superman is NOT the Golden Age Superman. He's an old version of the Silver Age Superman pretending to be from the Golden Age. And you know how I know?

For the past 20 years, E2 Superman has been watching Earth, pissed off that bad things happened to the superheroes.

GA Superman couldn't give two shits about what other superheroes were doing. Superheroes weren't The People. No, he'd be fine with that.

But if he had been Golden Age Superman, he would have broken out of there the moment the 2000 Election happened, and proceded to beat the shit out of the Supreme Court, the Bushes, the Republican Party, and the entire state of Florida.

Cause that's how he rolls.


Bully said...

Excellent choice, and hey, you called him. "Dibsies!"

Am I the only one with a Marvel mascot?

Steven said...

Believe me, if a certain little stuffed bull hadn't taken him already, Ben Grimm was going right up there, for VERY similar reasons.