This just in:
MARVEL UNIVERSE TO CHANGE! AGAIN!
Here, let me take a crack at guessing the "shocking revelation" that "everything has been leading to" but at the same time "you never saw coming":
Wanda "Deus Ex Machina" Maximoff reappears, mutters "No more...
and everything goes white!
LINE WIDE CROSSOVER! EVERY BOOK RETITLED AND RE-GENRE'D!
Amazing Spider-Man is now "Picture Perfect," rom-com about struggling photographer and model/actress wife!
New Avengers is now "Avengers," police procedural about an elite F.B.I. squad!
Wolverine is now "Logan's Run," Keuroac-ian stories about a surly tough who rides across America, living and loving!
Uncanny X-Men is now "Gifted," high-school dramedy about students at a boarding school for troubled geniuses!
Captain America is now "Captain Rogers," 80 year old World War II veteran solves murders in small town!
Fantastic Four is now "Weird Chemistry," work place comedy about a science lab!
The Incredible Hulk is now "Banner," dark drama of man dealing with his violent tendencies!
Iron Man is now "Gears of Industry," political drama of weapons manufacturer with a conscience set in today's high tension climate!
and so on and so forth...
For six straight months, Marvel will truly change their universe by publishing NO SUPERHERO BOOKS, forcing the retailers who buy only DC and Marvel books to stock something different and making Marvel Zombies discover how many other types of stories can be told in the comics format, and hopefully getting those same readers to admit they can enjoy a comic book, even if it doesn't involve someone in tights shooting lasers out their eyes!
Oh, if only...