Monday, January 08, 2007

Hirin' and Firin'

Hey Gail, if you're still reading, I have serious questions about Ivy University's tenure policy.

Specifically, WHAT, exactly, would Professor Doris Zuel have to do to get fired? You'd think that going on naked rampage through the town would at least get one put on probation, let alone swallowing a fellow member of the faculty whole, but there she is the next day, teaching class and putting the moves on The All-New Atom. I'm surprised she was hired in the first place, considering she's a known (and, in the pages of Wonder Woman, still wanted) criminal and she isn't doing much to hide her identity.

Yes, yes, I know she was "under the influence of a cancer god" (and haven't we all used THAT excuse before) and the Dean himself isn't exactly on the up-and-up, but you'd think the board of directors or the alumni association would throw a stink about such a dangerous individual influencing the minds of a new generation. I mean, it's not like they've got Prof. Morrow teaching computer programming or Solomon Grundy lecturing on interpretations of Seven Soldiers ("Grundy wants explication of text, too!")

... or DO they? Is that the point? Based on the increased yield following Ray Palmer's tenure, is Ivy actively recruiting the all stars of the meta-science world? Is that in the brochure? "Come to Ivy University and see the laws of physics rewritten regularly!" The Flash leading a seminar on special relativity. The Phantom Stranger and Dr. Thirteen hosting a special class on "Faith vs. Doubt". And when you run out of heroes, who might have better things to do, you move on to the reformed (and almost reformed) villains?

Y'know, this could actually be cool. They could have academic rivalries with the inmates of The Haven and free-thinkers on Oolong Island. Ethics classes would have some real debate, since there would suddenly be people actually pro-disintegration. And if Ivy's University mascot was the Kawaii M'Nagalah, I don't think I'd have a problem with that.


Gail Simone said...


You're right. There's a reason Zeul works there.



Steven said...

Ladies and gentlemen, do not be alarmed. That whooshing sound you hear is Gail Simone ducking the question.

Timothy Liebe said...

Nonsense, Steven! Gail Simone isn't ducking the question - exactly....

She's, um - foreshadowing! Yeah, that's the ticket - "foreshadowing".... ;)

Tim Liebe
Dreaded Spouse-Creature of Tamora Pierce
- and yes, Gail, it gets on Tammy's nerves when I do it to her, too! :D

Azrael said...

Wow, you've got celebrities on your blog.

Do I count as a celebrity? I did last a hundred issues...

Steven said...

Let me just say that some of my favorite readers are the fictional ones! So, yeah, you count!