Support Your Local Virgin

So... on October 18th in New York City, I'll be reading from my first short story at the In The Flesh reading series, and I'd love to see you all there!

I'll be reading from my short story "Perfect Manhattan," the story of a yuppie power couple trying to have perfect children by conceiving them at exactly the right time in exactly the right place, which leads them to the Central Park Zoo, a conference room at Goldman Sachs, and (in the excerpt I'll be reading from), the A-train at rush hour.

It's a comedy.

In The Flesh is a monthly erotica reading series (yes my story is erotic, or at least dirty) run by Rachel Kramer Bussel. She was gracious enough to ask me to read because a) she's on my trivia team and b) it's Virgin Night, specifically for first time readers (like me) and first time authors (um, also like me).

So if you like my writing, or erotica, or free cupcakes (yes FREE cupcakes!), then come one down to the Happy Ending Lounge on October 18th!

I'll see you there!

Oh Snap!

For some reason, my store didn't receive Action Philosophers #9 until today, so I didn't read this gem until just now:

... I blame Leibniz. You know you have a crappy philosophy when even Hegel thinks it's stupid.

Take that, alternate inventor of calculus!

Voice Work

Chris at Mighty God King has a neat post on writing in the voice of your characters, particularly the experiment to write your character's version of the Gettysburg Address. And he does it twice, once as Brainiac 5, and another he asks us to guess.

And I am not above stealing good ideas.

So here it is, let's see if you can guess the character (It's a comics character, you know him or her).

Listen up, chumps! Years ago, the guys in charge made this country based on the idea that everyone has rights. Everyone's protected.

Now we're fighting this goddamn war to see if they were right, whether a country like ours can even survive. And we've come here to honor the boys who got killed fighting for this country and make a little monument to them. And, yeah yeah, it seems like it's the right thing to do.

But you know what? We can't do nothing these men didn't do themselves. They were the heroes, we're just jerks talking. If we really want to honor their memory, we gotta keep fighting. We gotta finish what these guys started and take the fight to those a-holes who started this. We take the fight to them and we tell 'em, "this country's going to survive, and it's going to be better than ever. And freedom, and equality, and justice? They ain't going nowhere, man. No way!"

Perenials and Outliers

It's hard to imagine a day when DC Comics doesn't publish or plan to publish the following titles:

Action Comics
Superman
Detective Comics
Batman
Wonder Woman
Green Lantern
The Flash
Aquaman
Justice League
Justice Society
Teen Titans
The Legion of Superheroes

Yes, I know Aquaman is cancelled, but I assure you DC is actively soliciting pitches for a relaunch, looking for any way to get one of the most famous superheroes in the world back on the stands. Similarly, Marvel will always publish:

The Amazing Spider-Man
Uncanny X-Men
Fantastic Four
The Incredible Hulk
Captain America
Iron Man
The Avengers
Daredevil
The Punisher
Ghost Rider
Thor

Thor is an interesting example. A few years ago, Warren Ellis rather pointedly stated that you can't keep publishing Thor just because you've always published Thor if there isn't really enough interest in the character to justify sales. (also something about a horse from space) Then the title was canceled and the titular hero literally vanished from Marvel comics.

However, in July, the number one book on the stands was, well, Thor! Over 160,000 copies sold to retailers, which beats out Marvel's own much hyped World War Hulkand Death of Captain America miniseries.

Now, there's a few factors that go into that. The return of Thor was a delayed plot point from the mega-popular Civil War and Marvel put J. Michael Straczynski, one of their absolute most popular writers, on the book, so it's unlikely the book will keep half of that initial audience, still, that's an impressive number and a lot of the book's strength was based on fond memories of the character. So you can see why Marvel keeps going back to that well, even if it often runs dry.

But look at those lists again and think about what's NOT there, the outliers, the books starring new characters like Blue Beetle, the books with more diverse characters, like Black Panther the books with quirkier tones, like She-Hulk, or books with more unusual set ups, like The Brave and the Bold. Yeah, it's some of the bestselling comics on the stands right now, but it's not necessarily the innovative books or the most critically acclaimed.

The day is coming, and coming soon, when DC and Marvel make the transition from the magazine publishers they were to the book publishers they need to be. When the majority of your illustrated superhero stories will be found in novel length forms sold more in general interest book stores than increasingly exclusionary specialty shops. And when that day comes, the question is going to be, "whither the outliers?"

Take Manhunter, for example, DC critically acclaimed, fan favorite series with truly abysmal sales. DC has managed to eek out thirty issues of the series which add some great new characters to the DC universe and add some interesting depth to some old ones. And that in turn has produced three trades now which have sold well enough to kind of sort of keep the series going.

But... could DC have published the series if they didn't introduce the character in her monthly series first? Or to turn it around, would you have bought the first trade if it was sold as an original graphic novel? Would you have spent $13 to read about a totally new character taking on the identity of an old, d-list character, written by newish writer? On the other hand, would you spend $3 to try a new character out?

Yes, the move from magazines to books will be good for comics in general, both in terms of art and business, but I'm not sure it will be good for ongoing superhero comics. It feels to me that the move will limit the ability to sell new ideas to an audience already resistant to change. More expensive books sold at higher price points might discourage publishers from taking a chance on new writers, new artists, new characters, and new formats altogether when it's easier to sell books that are just like the ones the fans have already bought.

It's not like this isn't a problem already, but I worry that without the relatively cheap format of comic pamphlets to try out new creations, nothing new will come out of the "House of Ideas" and Marvel will just be feeling Thor for a long long time.

Powers Do Not Equal Personality

There’s an old game fans love to play while sitting around, dreaming of the day they get to write the adventures of their favorite superheroes: “Who’s in your Justice League?” The rules are simple, create a list of roughly seven to twelve characters who you’d want to see month after month saving the world from, say, Despero.

You see different strategies employed, from the Big Seven (only characters capable of supporting their own book… oh, and the Martian Manhunter) to the Heavy Hitters (if you can’t bench-press a tank, you can’t join), to the Professionals (characters who don’t have their own book, who can devote their full time to the team) to the Personal Favorites (say it with me now, “Geo-Force?”). And you see some old arguments pop up, like whether Batman would join the team or if Aquaman is ever useful.

But there’s one team creation strategy that baffles me. The belief that a Justice League team needs to have a Flash, needs to have a Green Lantern. That Superman and Captain Marvel shouldn’t both be on the team because their powers are too similar, and Firestorm and Captain Atom can’t both join because they would “over lap”.

It’s the belief that superpowers are the definition of a superhero’s character, and that a team composed of diverse powers is interesting, and a team with similar powers is not.

That’s just ludicrous.

I mean, it certainly doesn’t make sense from a story perspective. If you’ve got four guys with omnipotent magic wishing rings, why not bring all of them? When Batman took out Brother Eye in Infinite Crisis #6, he brought Green Lantern Hal Jordan and Green Lantern John Stewart. Why? Because Batman’s not an idiot.

But more the point of literary criticism, it doesn’t make sense from a storytelling perspective either. Superheroes’ powers don’t dictate their behavior. Sure, if you’ve got claws and super healing, you’re probably cutting people and getting beat up a lot, but isn’t that why Beast is much more interesting? Because his intellectual persona runs counter to his feral appearance and abilities? So, just because two characters have the same abilities doesn’t mean they have the same personality or that they would act the same in a team dynamic.

Think how different Grant Morrison’s run on JLA would be if, instead of artist and novice superhero Kyle Rayner, Morrison had used macho jackass Guy Gardner as the Green Lantern on the team. Instead of a nice P.O.V. character in over his head and out to prove himself worthy, you’d have an argumentative jerk who’d balk at Superman’s every order and repeatedly moon Batman (I didn’t say it would be a worse book, just different).

Or take the current line-up of the Teen Titans. Supergirl, Wonder Girl, and Miss Martian have very similar powers—super strength, speed, flight—but they don’t fulfill the same function on the team. Supergirl is trying, finally, to live up to the example of her cousin and be a role model hero. Wonder Girl, on the other hand, has developed a violent rebellious streak and become a destabilizing element. And Miss Martian tries to play peacemaker but is naïve and bumbling in her attempts.

In short, they’ve become the Power Puff Girls.* And that’s a good thing, because it’s in their personality differences that the story lies.

Superpowers are not what make characters interesting. How characters react to having superpowers is what makes them interesting. A team where everyone has a different power but they all act the same (like the Silver-Age Justice League or X-Force) is boring. A team where everyone has the same power but acts completely different is fascinating.

So the next time you’re creating your fantasy team, don’t think “I need a runner, a fighter, a magician, and a flyer” like it’s a D&D game. Think “Who’s the leader, who’s the instigator, who’s the peacemaker? Who’s new? Who’s old? Who wants to do more? Who wants to do less? Who’s proud to be there? Who’s about to quit? And who’s holding it all together?” Because it’s in how these characters are different, different as characters, that makes the team worth reading about.


*Yes, Supergirl also has heat vision and Miss Martian can shapeshift, but that’s like how Blossom has ice breath and Bubbles can speak Spanish.

Multiple Choice Question

I think it's pretty clear that I loves The Question. I even like the new Question.

It's a great character design (from Steve Ditko, who made a career of great character designs) and The Question, a.k.a., Vic Sage, is a compelling personality, a crusader for absolute truth.

And it is as a fan of the character that I'm bothered by comments like this:

Poor Question. Right when Timm, Dini, and company made you popular, DC has the foresight to kill you off and replace you.

Luke's implication that there can be no more comics featuring the Vic Sage Question is patently false, because the post he's commenting on is about a comic that came out THIS WEEK. In fact, it was in Justice League Unlimited, the comic that's specifically designed to capitalize on the success of "Timm, Dini, and Company". So he's getting exactly what he wants.

But of course he's not happy getting a new Vic Sage story. He wants a new Vic Sage story "in continuity," so that it "really happens." Well, Luke, I've got some bad news for you...

It's all fictional. The Vic Sage that died in 52 is no more real than the Vic Sage fighting space yetis on comics shelves RIGHT NOW!

And that's the wonder of these characters, they're flexible and you can tell many stories with them, AT THE SAME TIME. Don't like Judd Winick's Trials of Shazam? Try Jeff Smith's Monster Society of Evil. Don't like Richard Donner and Geoff Johns' Superman? Try Busiek's. Or Morrison's. Or...

These are not real people. They're characters and it takes a lot more than death to stop them. DC can still publish a Vic Sage Question series, and he could be Bruce Timm's paranoid theorist, or Denny O'Neil's kung fu master, OR Steve Ditko's objectivist vigilante. Take your pick, it's a wide open multiverse out there. In fact, Vic Sage wouldn't even need to fit into any previous continuity. After all, continuity isn't a real "reality" for him to fit into anyway.

I think he'd kind of like that idea.

Monday Morning Macking: World-Wide Edition

Sorry about last week. We're back on track today.

So, if you're going to get your mack on, there are some universal guidelines you should follow. And to help me demonstrate those rules, I've enlisted the aid of someone who's actually seen the universe, Ego, the Living Planet!

... what was that? ...Oh.

I mean, Ego, the Loving Planet.

Let's get to work:

Step One: Introduce Yourself



This is undoubtedly the hardest step, but also the most important, so take notes.

First, notice that Ego doesn't launch right into the introduction. He starts by explaining himself, slipping in a flattering compliment for planet Earth.

Second, Ego keeps it simple, right to the point. No games, no reservations, doesn't hold anything back. Just a "I'm attracted to you" and a "get to know me."

Step Two: Sell Yourself



For the more modest among you, this might seem difficult. You know you have good qualities but you don't want to brag or look vain.

Again, Ego shows the way. He leads with a supposed criticism of himself, that he's a "playa", but it's strawman, there only to justify his boast of commitment. "I would never just tell you how great I am," he seems to say, "but because of those people attacking me, I need to defend myself."

Step Three: Bad Mouth the Competition



DO NOT SKIP THIS STEP! You are not the only fish in the sea. Your intended has many choices out there, and you can stand out by making yourself look good, or making them look bad. Do BOTH, because, believe me my friend, they are!

Step Four: Be Understanding



Nobody you meet is going to be perfect. There's going to be some flaw. Don't let that stop you or you'll never get anywhere! If there's baggage, history, issues, or any static, just let it ride, and roll off you. It ain't no thing!

So, class, I hope you learned something, and have something to share as well.

Peace Out!

---

You ugly? Don't let that stop you! Even half a kisser is enough!

Know why? Because there's more to lovin' than just looks!

---

Mom's Not Going to Like This

Sometimes, you just have to smack a dentist in the head:


All in service to Bahlactus

Justice Society of Degrassi

And now a scene from Justice Society of America #7, with added Thought Balloons!


POWER GIRL: Mmm, mmm, unbreakable man meat!

MR. TERRIFIC: God, Power Girl, it's "the National anthem." "National." What planet are you from, anyway?

DR. MID-NITE: Must... touch... mustNOTtouch... must... touch... mustNOTtouch...

CITIZEN STEEL: A fin? Why'd they have to give me a fin? I'm such a dork.

"It's Wednesday, After All!"

I'm surprised at how much I enjoyed Justice Society #7, but I guess I shouldn't have been.

Justice Society has always been Geoff Johns's best book, and this, the first issue that wasn't the kick-off "Let's get the band back together!" storyline, or the good parts of the otherwise unreadable "Lightning Saga" crossover, shows off his greatest strength, action scenes with emotional payoffs.

In this stand alone story, Johns creates the anti-Penance in the new Citizen Steel, taking an overly melodramatic character and turning him into something uplifting.

First, Johns gave Steel the absolute worst, most emo origin ever: Nate Heywood was a crippled former football star who watched his family slaughtered by Nazis and was puked on by one, which is why he is now a metal man incapable of feeling. Yowza, if you're going to go that way, why not listen to Death Cab and get a MySpace Haircut while you're at it?

But by the end of the issue, Nate is a reluctant superhero and the protector of orphaned children, something a lot closer to Jack Kirby and Joe Simon's great shield slinging hero, The Guardian.* That's a hero I can get behind, that's a man I can root for.

And it doesn't hurt that his journey from whiney loser to father figure is a fun adventure involving Power Girl actually acting like a team leader (making the plan, taking lead, watching out for her team, offering encouragement when needed, Black Canary take notes), some fantastic lines ("Fists are nature's problem solvers"), and the JSA beating the crap out of a ton of Nazis ("Boo to Nazis").

However, this is almost outshone by the utterly charming Starman/Superman sequence, which just is a perfect demonstration of why we love the Big Blue. Starman's been talking up his sanitarium's Sloppy Joes since issue #1, but Superman is the first person to actually sit down and share one with him. Add to that a mental health facility shown as an actual hospital and not a 19th Century insane asylum/prison, plus hints that the Zero Hour Legion of Superheroes (and XS) are still in continuity, and you've got a sequence that just left me all smiles.

Dale Eaglesham's art is also amazing. It's easy to talk about the "acting" he puts into the characters' faces and postures, or the earth shattering fight, but I loved just the little stuff he threw in: Hawkman wearing his helmet under a welding mask, Superman quietly drinking his milk after Starman tells him it'll make his bones stronger, the way Dr. Mid-Nite's owl watches Steel at all times, even when the Doctor himself is distracted. I also love how Eaglesham models Superman on his namesake, Clark Gable (most noticeable on page 8).

It was just a fun comic, a story in and of itself, that nonetheless got me interested in reading the next issue. How cool is that?All I need to do now is wait for Rachelle "Irate Canadian Lass" Goguen to post the "It's Wednesday, After All!" panel, if only to steal it for future reviews!


*What other guy?